Since We're On the Topic

Skin color, it makes a difference
when you get ignored by some
ridiculed by others.
When your mother tongue becomes a joke
and people assume because you're dark
you must be wetback.
"Go back to Mexico"

But guess what, I was born here. 

No Justice

RIP Mike Brown
RIP Trayvon Martin
RIP Tamir Rice
RIP to all the minorities wrongfully murdered by authority.

I'm not surprised with this outcome, but I'm still allowed to be disgusted and horrified. I had been keeping up with Ferguson since the death of Mike Brown. 3 months. People wanted justice. I just can't help but sympathize with the people in Ferguson and families of the deceased.

I guess to super summarize, a teenage boy about to go to college, was shot and killed with his arms up by officer Darren Wilson. And tonight, a grand jury decided not to indict him. People have been protesting in Ferguson, and all over, to bring justice for Mike Brown for 3 whole months. I honestly suggest doing some reading on it, but this is similar to what happened to Trayvon Martin.

Ferguson, Missouri is literally in flames right now. Please pray

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2014/11/24/ferguson-grand-jury-deliberations/19474907/

Late Nights and Knitting

I'm blogging from my bed as I lay down trying to sleep. I had set a goal for myself to start waking up at reasonable times but waking up just seems to be a horrible activity for me. Whether I sleep at midnight or 5 in the morning. The only difference being, the less sleep I get the earlier I would get sleepy tired. If that makes sense. Basically I always feel tired, but there is a scale.
I started knitting a scarf and I am incredibly sad because I may have made it too wide so it's just going to take that much longer. If I work on it everyday for like an hour at least, I predict it will take a month. I tried knitting in the dark just a bit ago and it was a bit difficult. There's a point where you don't have to look often, right? I have to make sure the movements are just right and the string goes where it's supposed to or else I suffer. There's already a noticeable tiny hole in it. And sometimes, an extra stitch appears on the needle, I don't even know how that even happens. It's even all lopsided!! Despite the annoying attention to detail, it can be relaxing. I complain but the mistakes will grow less with practice. Blemishes build character.
I'm a beginner knitter, I havent even finished a project before. I almost made a hankerchief (wow how do you spell that? Is that right?? Oh well, phone doesn't have good spellcheck). But yeah, I looked up tutorials for other things like mittens and hats and was like "nope nevermind."
Okay my eyes are finally getting a bit heavy and maybe I can drift off to sleep now.
I hope this looks like a decent amount written.  Probably not. OH WELL.

Overpriced Chai

It's a terrible thing.  How is it possible that a drink costs nearly $4 when its just tea and milk. Literally it's tea and milk. I pay nearly the same amount for a whole box of that stuff at Tevana or Trader Joe's. But no... oh no, Starbucks basically has you pay with your blood.
And I am a sucker for it.
Why?
Because no where else on campus sells you tea and milk. That's why.
You know why else-- because I feel like drinking chai and the place is conveniently located 15 feet away from me.
-Insert irritated face here-
Okay, so I probably spend about $12 a week on coffee and tea thanks to these guys. I could bring my drinks from home, only problem is that it would mean I have to drink the drink soon after I make it, which if I'm honest, sometimes I'm not in the mood for. (I don't want a chai so close to lunchtime!) It also means that if I finish said drink I have to carry around an empty cup all day. Which also means more stuff I have to shove in my backpack. Need I mention how heavy that sucker is already?
But I digress. I could do a lot with $12.
I could pump more gas in my car.
I could buy another winter hat. (no I dont have a problem..... I only have 3 okay!)
I could get my car washed,
could invite a friend out for lunch
could buy myself lunch that is better than cereal
could save it in the bank for gosh darn sakes.

But no. I want my coffee. I want my tea. And unfortunately because Starbucks has a monopoly on campus... that means they also get my money..
This is why we cant have nice things!

The Best Introduction. Period.

Hello?
Testing 1...2..3.?
Is this on?  Oh!  Shoot, We're recording already!
*Ahem*
Welcome to the introdiction.. contraduction... CONTRADICTION. Whatever it is... of, ME!

I am... Joey!
Despite my seemingly outgoing and extroverted online presence I am an introvert, of the Highest Caliber!  Perhaps some of my posts will give you a bit of insight into the mind of an introvert, though obviously not ALL introverts.

I am a student in Colorado, the picture is a mere glimpse of the view I get to enjoy each and every day.  I spend my days studying the Bible on the side of a mountain with 40 other people my age.  The best thing about living up here is the people, there are some wild things that happen up here, from exploding animals to the slaughter of a nation (Neither of these are as they seem, just so you're aware). 

My hobbies include competitive video gaming, casual video gaming, origami, kirigami, studying the Bible, reading, creative writing, poetry, and various and sundry other things that I will no longer continue to list as it would begin to be an even greater waste of your time.  Perhaps I can go into this on a walk in the woods someday?

As I am a fan of creative writing some of my posts may be just that, or a snippet of poetry, I hope you don't mind, though if you do it likely won't change what I enjoy doing.

Occasionally when I am comfortable I will allow you to peek into my world, getting into the mind of a guy who has admittedly, been through a lot.  I can give you a window into whats going on inside this dark-haired head of mine, though I may end up needing to give a disclaimer every now and again.

I have rambled on and on and to some you may have become lost in my thoughts, and yet to others I just seem to wander about aimlessly.  

Well I have news for you!

In the Words of an incredible author J.R.R. Tolkein

"Not all those who wander are lost."

Yes, that was the end, if you're lost you're lost.  I'm just wandering around.

I'm Still Not Totally Comfortable (Warning: Deep post is deep)

Talking about my skin condition. Yeah, I have psoriasis, and if you don't know what that is, it's an autoimmune disease that affects the skin. Basically my immune system hates my skin for some reason. Anyway, a few years ago I went through a really difficult time in my life. Severe depression, stress, anxiety and outside "normal" illnesses (caused by certain events) lead to this problem. At the time I didn't understand why on top of everything else, I had to deal with another issue. It wasn't fair.Why, when I was trying to do my best, did God want to burden me with more.
I asked God to take it away. I asked Him to heal me. Several people prayed. I took lots of things from teas to medications to try and make it disappear. But always, always there was a spot that never went away. Always always something burned or itched or became irritated.

I should be grateful, that's what I hear a lot. My case is mild, treatable, more of a nuisance.
But it has affected me.
I get looks sometimes. I'm not contagious, I can't hurt you, or anybody. I didn't ask for it. No i'm  not going to die from it.

I wish I could just say all that, but often times I can't and I just stumble on my words and break.

But I realized something today, as for the thousandth time I applied lotion to places, blew the tiny flakes off my shirt. Maybe... it's not supposed to go away.

I looked back on the season of my life where this all began and it hit me how much I wrestled with God. I fought Him, literally with every ounce of my being. I fought because I wanted a blessing in the midst of trouble, I wanted fairness, I wanted Him to prove to me who He was.

And He did.

Maybe it's not in the way that I wanted, I realized. And sure, its not something that you would call a direct "blessing". But as I read through Jacob's story, where he wrestled with God, I noticed he too was touched in a way we would not consider positive. We were both crippled in a sense-- our pride knocked to nothing.

This "condition" has made me rely on Him more than I ever did before. In a lot of aspects, I pray for peace, for calm, understanding, joy, hope. In the middle of that, my psoriasis lessens, it eases, and though it does not go away completely, it does get better.
The moment I forget and become stressed, overwhelmed and lose my focus on Him it flares-- a reminder that it's time to lay down my pride and let Him take control.

I'm still not totally comfortable talking about my skin condition. But at least I know now that if I understand nothing else about it, even if no one else understands, God has shown me his love and peace and grace through it.

He shows me who He is every day.


P.S Ruby, I did get my hair cut and I really like it (:
P.P.S I promise I'll post something lighter tomorrow! More likely since I'll actually be at school where the crazy adventures are likely to happen!

Drawing Blanks

Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful

Alexis gave me attitude when I asked her to coax Ian into writing a blog post 'cause even I have only written one so I said FINE and here I am. 

Okay, look. I'm only half conceited but I just wanted to show off my long hair and even then it's still cut off a bit in the picture. Uhm, what prompted this was Alexis talking about her wanting to cut her hair in the skype call. And I didn't have a drawing or anything to post.

I honestly don't know what to talk about soooo. First thing that comes to mind; I want to knit? I watched a youtube vid for beginners and I think I remember how to know. I've been taught twice prior tot hat video but since I never practiced, I forgot. It'd be a nice activity to do while watching shows or something. I haven't seen any anime in awhile.

My tummy hurts. I think it's was the McDonald's iced tea I had. Or also known as, PURE SYRUP. Ugh, I forgot that I didn't like their sweet tea. I'm getting old, used to love stuff like that. It's like Alexis and kool-aid. *cough*

Ok I'm out of stuff to say, see you next time!!

PS IAN ADD A POST

When You Stop Looking

That's when you find things. Seriously, here's a little story:
Over the summer, I spent my days in Colorado. On one such day we visited a town called Boulder where we bumped into a chill looking dude playing on a drum/pan instrument. I have to say, it was such an awesome sound. My friends and I stuck around for a good while before we literally had to get pulled away.
Flashback to the present!
I could not remember the name of the instrument for the life of me, and being the music junkie I am, I spent a couple of weeks looking all over the internet for some hint as to what produced that unique sound. Nothing.
My search went on for intervals until I just decided it was an obscure instrument name I was never going to find.
Then today happened. I was looking through my news feed on Facebook when I saw someone had posted a video with the instrument in it. I was so excited! Needless to say I went and looked up some pretty cool people playing this really cool instrument.

It really left me thinking though. Every time I stop searching for something, somehow I end up finding exactly what I was looking for. Maybe it's the moment that we let go of our search that we begin to understand what it is exactly we are aiming for. And maybe it's only when we stop trying to do things ourselves that we find what we thought we'd never find.

Anyway, here it is (:

The Life of a Commuter

Sitting. Sometimes I wonder at my choice of friends. Today I found myself doing this quite a bit, looking out the window that is. Most of the time, I just listen, I'm not one to say much, not really.

There was talk of noodles, backpacks, classes, windows and Yoda.

I'm not really sure where one conversation lead to the next, but I tried my best to turn occasionally flash a smile, nod like I understood and stare down at the screen of my phone. On occasion, when someone decided to make a sly remark, I'd reply similarly.

I have gotten better at sarcasm lately.

But I think, that the reason I surround myself with such different people is that it gives space for them to talk and for me to be silent.
Yeah. I'm content looking out windows.
And I'm grateful they allow me to be a part of their everyday life and conversation.
Even if it can become a pile of nonsense.
                                                     "Did you just kick my backpack?"

Aggressive Introductions

A beautiful self portrait done in paint with a mouse

hola mi nombre es Ruby. soy de Tejas y mi color favorito es purple.

Nah, 4 years of Spanish and I still can't speak it for shizzle.

So this is where I introduce myself right? Well my buddy Alexis invited me to join in adding to this blog and I'm thinking, heck yeah I like recreational writing. My life isn't adventurous in the slighting but I sure do love rambling.

I'm a college dropout hoping to return this spring and starting slow. I'm just sitting in this corner and fearing the adult world in the meantime. I'm hoping the year 2015 is a major turning point and I see a lot of change in the future, things beyond my control too, y'know?

Er, I like drawing, singing, and vidyagames. Good at none! But it's ok, I've learned to accept the way of things. Low self-esteem but high hopes

Friendly Introductions

including the waving of hands I failed to draw.

So... this isn't much of an afternoon post... its more like an "I started this late so I'm going to post right now," post. What can I say, I'm a college student with not enough time. Or maybe too much time since apparently I spent my time drawing in food and nutrition class. Welcome to getting a bachelors of arts, kids.

 Anyway...I can never draw hands!
I can't do a lot of things. Honestly, these past couple of days and weeks have been reminding me of this issue.

It seems like lately my mind has decided to point out my flaws by mercilessly throwing them at me late at night. And if' that were not enough, my feelings have the audacity to follow and believe.

I am a broken mess lately. Funny time to start a blog, huh? Well I figured it would certainly give me a reason to open up a little more. Sounds like a good enough reason to me.

Whatever my mind finally settles on,

Here goes. 

P.S Much love for the friends who decided to join me on this (: