It might be because of the nap I took earlier, but I don't feel like sleeping. Even though my head hurts a little. I swear my hair weighs too much for my head. Hmm not too much seems to be going through my mind. Today, er, I mean yesterday after class I chilled with a classmate. Possibly a friend now, her name is Kristen. We drew with chalk on the sidewalk and blew bubbles because of some soon-to-be organization. She's going through some stuff, like a break up and being borderline harassed by a creepy classmate. I honestly think he's harmless but is being kind of annoying and not taking a hint. He was actually supposed to be a 3rd partner in a group project but he ended up dropping. We explained to the professor and she was able to help us out.
Uh, I guess I miss him a lot too. I mean he manages to stay on my mind all the time and is still able to effectively get under my skin. I'm lot less angry than I thought I would be. I was just sad for the longest time. Sad, not depressed. I've been managing to keep it at bay for awhile. I think my anxiety is it's partner and my anxiety levels have been at record lows currently.
A method I've been using is the "fake it til I make it." I just speak highly of myself basically and fake confidence. Even though I'm probably joking, I am starting to believe myself I think. I may go overboard and sound arrogant but hey... Go big or go home? Lolz, I don't know.
So yeah Alexis, remember at DD's when I was talking about bikinis. I was half joking. I'm not sure I would actually do it!
I've also been thinking how much I've changed. Well, not really. I've always been non confrontational but.. I don't know, I always have the need to stand up for myself now. I've always been passive and letting people get away with things but I feel my fuse is a lot shorter now. There are still instances when I keep quiet, yeah. I'm not sure where I'm going with this. Loyal has always gotten the brunt of my defense mechanisms 'cause he likes to joke a lot. We are rarely on the same page when it comes to our joking around, thus the conflicts.
I don't exactly dislike this about myself, but of course people aren't very appreciative.
I think my eyes are finally getting heavy. I am so suffering in the morning. 'Til next time, Blogger.
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